A Deployment: Not What We Had in Mind

The news of deployment two weeks after getting engaged wasn't what we had in mind. I knew it was always a possibility and I had been trying to prepare myself for months with the thought of it potentially coming but God doesn't give me grace for the days ahead He gives me grace for today. His grace is sufficient for today, not tomorrow or the weeks ahead. Something I've had to remind myself over the past 36 hours after Zach called me after work on Monday and spoke the words, "I am getting deployed." 

My throat tightened. My stomach felt instantly nauseous and my body just began to feel weak. All the days prior I had been telling myself that it would be a possibility but nothing could prepare me for the sure fact of Zach telling me he would leave for an extended period of time.

I thought to myself "God, seriously?!? We've been together for almost 6 years and waited for the right time to get married and now you're sending him away?! Why? I don't understand." 

As I cried speechless on the car ride home from work I told myself I needed to be tougher, that I knew what I was getting into when I said "yes" to Zach and I needed to stop crying. Zach listened and comforted me and reminded me that it was okay to cry and be sad. He reminded me that this was all a part of God's greater plan and we just needed to trust and walk in that. I received it the best I could in that moment and just began to process this new reality. A new reality I didn't want to accept. 

Over the next 24 hours I was encouraged by my friends and family, they listened to me cry and reminded me it would be okay. My Aunt shared a sweet bit of wisdom with me that I've clung to since Monday night. She told me that we all have this picture of what things should look like but sometimes God's picture is different and it's greater than we could ever ask for or imagine. She said you have to let your perfect picture go and begin to ask the Lord to show you what He wants you to do. That has been my prayer over the past 36 hours and after much processing and thinking Zach and I came up with a plan that we are both content and happy with. Our loose plan is a wedding in September of 2018 in Maryland when it's a little cooler. We will firm up more as time goes on but that is what we are planning on as of now. Lots can change but we will make a plan each time we get a curve ball. God is good even in circumstances that are hard to accept and sad. The verses I have been clinging to are:

"Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created." Esther 4:14

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

"Cast your cares on me and I will sustain you." 1 Peter 5:7

For those wondering, (as of right now) Zach will leave mid January for six months and head to the Middle East. It is a non threatening area so we have that to be thankful for. 

Although this will be a hard season I know everything will work out and the Lord will carry us through, just as he always does.

Thanks for listening to me share my heart! So grateful for each of you. 

The Proposal

Well y'all! I figured it was about time to share this story along with pictures. Life has been a whirlwind! So much going on. By the time the summer is over I'll have completed 15 hours of course work, part of that is a full time job. It's been good but a lot so the blog has had to hit the back burner while I try to graduate and finish. Only a few more weeks till I'm back to school so a chiller schedule is in site. 😊  I graduate in December, which I cannot believe so I am going to soak up every moment of this last semester! 

I cant believe Zach and I have been engaged two weeks! Looking at these pictures it feels like forever ago! I've started some of the planning process which I'll be sharing soon full of my color scheme and what I've done so far. But before that, I wanted to share the story of how this beautiful event took place and what an amazing job my guy did! 

The plan was to take blog photos after my girlfriends and boss convinced me to take a mental health day and take the day off. I had this small inclining that the engagement could be happening any day but Zach had to go to Florida for a TDY last minute so I just let the thought of us getting engaged go. The girls told me the idea was actually stupid and it wasn't happening any time soon. I was truthfully very disappointed  and just dying to know everything. #TypeA #SorryI'mNosy

To my complete shock, after lots of traffic, a GPS malfunction and a change of plans I showed up to take pictures at this beautiful arch way called Robert E. Lee Park in Dallas and out steps Zach. I was completely stunned and started walking and half crying in disbelief. It felt like the longest walk of my life! My mom and his mom were hiding in the bushes capturing the entire thing! 

There he was, waiting for me like he always has. Through the ups and downs he has loved me through it all. I cannot even begin to describe the adrenaline that was rushing through my body. After Zach stood up and hugged me I was shaking so much he says "Are you okay? I said I'm fine I just need to sit down." 😂  I was so overcome with emotion! 

 Our moms and him had set up a sweet table for us to enjoy after the whole event. We were able to sit after everyone left to process the moment and just soak it all in. Afterwards we drove back to my Aunt and Uncle's and all of our friends and family were there waiting for us. It was the sweetest most wonderful night of my life, everything I had hoped for and more. 

I am overwhelmed with the love everyone has shown us and cannot believe that we are getting married. It's been almost six years since we started dating. It's crazy to think I met my husband at fifteen! 

Wise of wedding details, we know for sure we are getting married in Maryland. We grew up there and spent the non long distance years of our relationship there. Maryland will always hold a special place in our heart. We are waiting for word on Zach's deployment. Everything has been so back and forth. I am taking it one day at a time and trusting that the Lord's timing is perfect. 

Again, your love and support has meant the absolute world! I am excited to share the process with you all. 😍

Have a wonderful Monday friend and thanks so much for reading!!