Thursday, January 25, 2018

My thoughts on being a military wife.

From my 3 weeks experience of being a wife and a military spouse I have learned quite a bit...
Being a military wife is like being on a never ending roller coaster ride. Some days you feel fantastic and on top of the world, you feel like you can conquer it all, and others you're falling so fast down the drop you can't stop yourself. You're terrified, worried, and unsure of how to feel...

God has taught me a lot in two weeks of being without Zach and almost three weeks of being married. Let me start off by being honest and saying, yesterday was one of my worst days. I was angry, frustrated, confused, doubtful and afraid. The reality of my situation (although it's temporary) was hitting me like a ton of bricks. So please don't think for one instance that I look to be handling it beautifully. I don't have it all together and I have bad days. Yesterday was case and point. Today, was much better and I feel like myself and that "I Can Do This!" So hear I am, sharing my heart with you. 

In the intense moments of mental and spiritual attach yesterday, my head was swirling with so many different lies, fears, and worries. Can anyone else agree that the attack on the mind is by far one of the worst things? 🙋
Thoughts like, "You just graduated from Texas A & M and you're home with your parents while your husband is away, wow, that's super impressive." (LIE) "Are you sure you can handle this military path and want to pursue it with Zach?" (LIE) "Are you cut out to be a military wife? You're pretty much failing at it." (LIE) Those are a few of the lies that swirled in my head yesterday as I went through my day and the more they popped in my head, the more angry I became. The more I questioned myself and the path that God has put me on. I began to doubt the plans that the Lord has declared and proclaimed over me and my life.  "Is this normal, am I supposed to feel this way? This is so hard and it sucks and I want it to be over." I kept thinking that I've done long distance for four years, why now am I crumbling and unable to move on in life? The truth is, I can't change my feelings. They are there and need to be recognized. One thing I can change though is how I respond to them...
Zach is gone and that won't be changing anytime soon. You see, the reality of my life is that, I need to accept my circumstances and move forward so I can begin to do the work that God has called me to.  Accepting your circumstances can be hard though, whether you are a military spouse, a college student, a mom or a young professional. We all face hard things and circumstance we wish we could just skip. We all go through seasons in life where we don't want to accept where God has put us but you see friend, that's where God does the most work. When we are uncomfortable, sad, struggling and unsure of how we'll get through the day. When we are weak, HE is strong. 

Being a military wife means being okay with moving all around. It means being okay with being left for extended periods and being independent. It means being strong in the face of adversity. It means not letting the negative comments of "Why did you get married so young and right before he left?" affect you. It means supporting your husband from afar and affirming him in all his successes. It means blowing a virtual kiss through Face Time when all you want is a real one. It means trusting God in all circumstances and believing that He will carry on to completion every good work He has started. Lastly, it means not being a victim to your circumstances. 

These words I hope regardless of your season or where you are, point you to Jesus. I hope through my struggles and heartache you see God's bright light. I hope through me you see the peace of God and I hope that you're encouraged and inspired by my words. Not because their my own but because God is working in my heart and life. 

So what do I hope you'll take away from this? 
1. That being a military spouse isn't easy but gosh does it grow and strengthen you as a person. 
2. That during the hard times it's okay to feel things and experience emotions, it means you're human. (I need to tell myself this daily)
3. That God is faithful in every season. 

I hope this shed some light on my heart and encouraged you. It's been a really hard two weeks. I won't sugar coat my reality and say it hasn't, to be honest, Zach left two weeks ago but it feels like a lifetime. But this I know for sure that that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

I CAN do this and I WILL do this. 

Thanks for reading dear friends! 

If you enjoyed this post and hearing my heart on this new chapter will you let me know? I'll write more if it's something you all will read. 😊

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  1. I would love to hear your story! I'm not a military wife but have always been interested in hearing about what that life is like. Keep sharing!!!

  2. God bless you, Abi! This was very encouraging. Thanks for sharing your heart ❤️

    1. Thanks so much Montana! XOXOX Congrats on that sweet baby boy of yours!

  3. Stay strong in the Lord, sweet Abi. Your feelings are natural yet your response is SUPERnatural. Stay focused on the time you have with Nate, BB and your folks; you never know where you and Zach will go next. Praying for you!

  4. Abi, I love your blog and you! You probably don't remember this but your dad taught Clark and I in Sunday school when we were stationed in Pax River in 2003/4. Your parents are both so amazing! Keep up the writing and sharing and inspiring. Your words are a gift and you share your faith so beautifully. Love, Cindy (another fellow military spouse :)


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